What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
