i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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