wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
