I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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