When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
