The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
