I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
