You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
