Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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