I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
