What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
