Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
