Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
