Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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