We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
