Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
