and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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