I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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