The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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