i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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