Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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