Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
