where am i from again
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He better not be in your backpack
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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