My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
