is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
