R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
