singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
