there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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