Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
