i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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