After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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