I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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