How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
