Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
