were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
