Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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