I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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