I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
