Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
