If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
