She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
