i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
