My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
