Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
