Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
