Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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