And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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