why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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