i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
