she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
