Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
