Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
