another moral hangover. fuck.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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