Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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