New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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