I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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